Surviving a Hostage Situation

Place: A bank

You never know when you'll be in a hostage situation. To your luck and regret to the people who know you, I'll walk you out of it alive. Once again don't question my expertise, unless you want to get yourself shot.


Starting off

So there you are waiting in line, ready to deposit $80 into your bank account, totaling it to a whopping $135. When out of nowhere five masked gunmen blast into the bank. Their first command will be "everyone to floor", it is here that you will make the difference. Whatever you do don't drop to the floor, keep standing still with a "what's up" look on your face. The bank robbers will probably whack you with a gun and you'll fall unconscious, don't worry, your goal was to prove a point. No one will push you around.

Day 1: Moral High Ground

Sometimes these crooks don't know when to call it quits, meaning the cops will have the place surrounded long before the criminals plan on leaving. By now you're waking up from the hit you took, everyone near is afraid of you because they already witnessed how screwed up you are and they don't want to get killed because of you. This is good, when the cops send the food you'll get a bigger portion.

Day 2: Hero

This is when the criminals start pointing their guns at the hostages to prove to the police that they are not kidding around. I don't care if they are planning on killing the Pope himself, you will not, and I repeat, you will NOT be a hero. Stick to our plan and stay low on this one, as long as they are not aiming at you, you'll be ok. We don't need a dead hero, unless you're wearing a ivanjnc.blogspot.com t-shirt, that will bring more readers, but in the mean time lay back and keep your cool. The most media coverage you'll get will be 5 minutes before CNN goes back to covering the Michael Jackson story. If a junkie dies of drugs, he over dosed, when Jacko died, it was a murder! But will delve on this story some other time; back to you.

Day 3: Placing Fear

The initial shock is gone by now, the police and the abductors are negotiating but as usual they can't agree on anything. Your job now is to demonstrate to the abductors what you're made off. You need to get on their good side. So if they slap a hostage, you stand up, walk over, and slap the hostage twice. Whatever they do you will top it. You gotta show who is the Alpha male(or female). Try to be first when the hostage negotiations come, pay no mind to old sick people or kids, you gotta watch out for Numero Uno.

Day 4: Taking Advantage

I'm pretty sure the other hostages hate you by now but they also fear you. This is a good opportunity to put your moves on the hot cashier that you've been checking out for quite a some days now. Who hasn't given you a second look because she has access to your bank records, therefore knows how broke you are. With her emotions off the charts plus the new found fear towards you its a given that you'll get yourself some tail.

Day 5: We're Saved

Few hostage situations come out in favor of the criminals. Rescue teams and SWATs will apprehend the robbers with few casualties on the hostages side. If you followed my instructions you'll be one of the few that do not come out of there in a body bag.

Resolution

Although you did make it out alive, after doing all those things your fellow hostages will probably rat you out. Most likely you'll be convicted of:
1) Helping Criminals
2) Interfering with police investigation/rescue
3) Violating other people's rights
4) Rape (remember the cashier? she denounced your ass)

I don't know much about law, but after doing some research I think you're looking at 15 to 25 years in jail.

Fear Not

Most people are scared of jail, but once again you're lucky to have me. Come back later for our next edition of Survival Skills, where we will teach you "How to Survive in Jail" and if you have what it takes we will give you an extra bonus "How to Escape".

No one likes Mondays, so I hope you have a nice day and a short week.

Trying to change the template...

I've been trying to change the template but I keep messing it up, I'm new to this blogger thing so it's trial and error at the moment. I design websites and this should not be a problem, but guess what, it is. lol

I'll have it up by today.

Disney Pimps: A Weekly Series

By Jack Poe

Oii mates. I haven't been writing lately, and that's because, like Ivan18 said, we prefer to search and write good stuff other than writing nonsense. Anyway, I have some pretty good things to write about planned. For instance, my fellow readers, we will take a journey into the underworld of Disney, where more corrupt young stars are appearing with frequency, taking over our youth, and hypnotizing young boys and girls acroos the planet. I, Johnny Jack, take this mission and will infiltrate this whorehouse as I give you a close up on the targets: The Disney Pimps. Make sure to check out this blog every day so you won't miss this series.

Ps: if you like hanna montana and highschool musical, you might get pissed.

(And yes!! that's Hannah Montana freaking pole dancing, but don't worry, we'll get her)

Targets (a.k.a Dinsey Pimps)
Week 1: Hillary Duff
Week 2: Lindsay Lohan
Week 3: Miley Cyrus
Week 4: Vanessa Hudgens

In case you were thinking this will not be about trashing or bashing these young girls because honestly, I dont give a hell what they do with their lives. My point will be how Disney, a supposedly Family company can get away with all these things without ever getting smashed by the media or other groups.

Too much work!

by Ivan18

Working
I'm here to apologize for the second day in a row, I've been working a lot this week so I haven't been able to post. I rather not post than to type some half-baked, not researched post. I'm planning on moving to another city for a week to pursue a business opportunity. With luck there will be an internet cafe near by and if I can find my camera I'll keep you up-to-date.

If I'm not around Jack Poe will, so you won't be abandoned. I promise I'll type something cool for you tomorrow. Right now I need some rest.

Name Change

by Ivan18

I was out of the city all day, just got back and I'm leaving again tomorrow early in the morning. Really tired at the moment. I had something fun for you today but you'll have to wait. In the mean time I'll use this opportunity to ask for your opinion.

Name Change: Observations and Opinions
I'd like to change the name to something which describes this blog, for those who have been here long enough know that we jump from topic to topic, sometimes serious and sometimes totally opposite.

I know you have some ideas so let's hear them. Even if you don't have the complete name just write stuff and we'll combine them to come up with a different name.
Layout
We'll be changing the layout to help order these posts, I didn't think when we started that we'd write so much. The new layout will help our new readers catch up on old posts. Making it easier to find related topics.

Thank You
It's only been 12 days since we opened the blog and the results have been fantastic. Thanks to those who come in daily even if you don't always leave messages or don't follow us. You should also check out our followers' blogs, there are some really interesting blogs there.

I'll see you all tomorrow or later today if I rest up :D.

Pro-Choice versus Death Penalty

Round 1
by Ivan18

Two things almost alike, one decides to kill you in the early stages of your life, while the other decides once you are an adult (over 18-21). As in all boxing matches, there will be no hits below the belt, in this case, God and religion will be left aside.
Normally people will have Pro-Choice Vs Pro-Life, but since we don't do things normal around here so we will go with Pro-Choice vs Death Penalty.

Definitions:
Pro-choice: An ideological position which defends a woman's right to have an abortion on the grounds of her inviolable autonomy over matters concerning her own body.
Death Penalty: A sentence of punishment by execution.

Although they both involve death, for some reason conservatives and liberals accept one but not the other. Pro-choice is supported by liberals while the death penalty is supported by the conservatives. So let us start one by one.

Pro-choice
Let me congratulate all liberals on this name, it sounds so nice. Who would go against something so logical as the right to choose? I'm sorry to tell you this but it is time to man-up, and call it by its real name, baby-killing. Just because the infant cant talk back does not mean it is not alive. I bet it makes you sleep better at night thinking that you exercised the right to "choose".

Face it, all you're doing is taking the easy way out. You seem to be against killing another human being even if that person killed a family with his own bare hands, but you don't mind killing a baby who's only fault was that you didn't use a condom, or that it broke. What are some of your excuses? "She's only 15, how can she have a child", I've seen lot's of cases like these where the baby grows up just fine, like any other kid.

You support animal rights with such passion yet you don't give a damn about humans. There are 1.5 million abortions every year in the U.S, but I don't see any of you protesting about it. But if someone were to kill a cat you'd be harassing his ass every day; requesting for fines and imprisonment. When all he did was exercise his "choice" in killing a cat, better than killing a baby don't you think?

So liberals, its time to face reality, quit living in that bubble of yours where you want to "fix" stuff by calling it by other names and protesting for insignificant things.

Exceptions
Abortions should be legal when:
1) Incest
2) Rape
3) Mother's health might be in danger
4) The newborn might be missing limbs or brain deficiency is spotted
5) (blank in case I forgot one)

Death Penalty
Ok conservatives, I know I said God and religion wouldn't be involved. But since you point at it whenever you find it fit, I'll point it back to you. I thought only God could judge people. Yet you're so creative when given the chance to end someone's life.

Methods (some are not in use anymore)
1) Hanging
2) Lethal Injection
3) Lethal Gas
4) Electrocution
5) Firing Squad
6) (comment on any other that you know)

I'm not a bible reader however I don't think it says anything about killing people with lethal injections. You say it is humane because they won't feel a thing, in case you didn't know anticipation and fear of losing one's life are the worst feelings anyone could ever have. So before you go around hitting people on the head with your holy book, take a look at what you support and ask yourself; "what would Jesus do?". Odds are he wouldn't sit someone on an electric chair.

Conclusion
If I had to choose who's life to end. I would prefer to kill a killer than an infant. What about you? Leave a comment stating your opinion and feel free to add any facts or hypothetical problems along with your answer; so that we can discuss it.

Don't forget to Vote (sidebar top left).

Surviving the Outdoors

Edition: Amazon Rainforest
by Ivan18

Whatever you do don't question my expertise, or it might just get you killed.
Rule 1: Don't Die (told you I was an expert).

So let's say for some odd and stupid reason you find yourself lost in the Amazon Rain Forest, right in the middle of nowhere. First thing you need to say to yourself is: "Good thing I read that blog, I'll be able to survive.

List of things you'll need:
1) A machete, keep one with you at all times, even when boarding the plane, if anyone from security stops you say "Hey at least I don't have a bomb with me". They'll let your right in no questions asked.
2) You'll need something to carry your water.
3) Condoms, hey you never know if you'll find a sexy amazonian chick. Better safe than sorry.
4) A lighter.
5) If it was a plane crash and you're lucky to wake up before everyone else, steal their belongings. Better you than them. If anyone is still half alive whack them with a stick, more people equal less food.

Packing up
Make sure you have all these before going out and playing Tarzan. Once you're out of the crash site look for some water. Normally people will say that you should stay near the crash site but pay them no mind, we all know the rescue teams take weeks to find anything and I don't think your fellow passengers will take it lightly that you stole their stuff.

Your Journey
If possible take someone with you, just in case you get into any trouble. Once you two find a river be careful, plenty of crocodiles waiting to make you their next meal.
Teamwork: Have your new friend collect the water while you watch from a distance for any signs of crocodiles.

Possible animal attacks: Jaguar
Average Weight: 350 pounds
Average Speed: 50 mph
Conclusion: There is no chance in hell you'll make it out alive... unless...

Teamwork:
This is the main reason you brought your new acquaintance along. We all know that you will never be able to outrun a jaguar, but you're in luck, you don't need to. All you need to do is outrun your friend, this is where the machete comes in handy, try to go for his ankle and RUN your ass off, don't look back. If you're lucky the jaguar and its cubs will have enough to eat for a couple of days.

Remember, I'm here to save your life, not everyone around you.

Living happily ever after
After all these atrocities you have committed I don't think people will want you back in civilization, but don't you be worrying about it. There are hundreds of tribes in the amazon. If they don't sacrifice your ass they might just take you in as one of their own.

Look on the bright side, you'll be able to live the rest of your days learning the fine art of cannibalism, hanging around with nude chicks, becoming one with nature. Every environmentalist's dream. Once you get used to all the venomous insects I think you'll do fine.
Popularity tip: You can lead your tribe back to the crash site and have an all night feast. This will surely put you on top of the Chief's list, he might even let you marry his daughter.

I hope this keeps you alive, don't miss the other outdoor tips coming soon. Leave a comment if you know of any other useful skills to survive in the wilderness.

C'est La Vie: New Advice Column

By Jack Poe

Oi mates. Since the blog is becoming a little more popular every day, we can have now something me and the other authors have wanted to have on this page, and that is an advice column. With this, all of you can view our advices on certain things in life like relationships, motivation, things you can do to help yourself and feel better, etc. The column will be called C’est La Vie (French for That’s how life is). I wanted to name it Jacky Poe’s Advice Column, but ivan18 said that he would kick my ass if I did. So remember, if you want us to cover a certain subject or if you need advice on ANYTHING, just write us a comment under this post and you’ll have an advice for you right away.

Should Poker be Considered an Olympic Sport?

by Ivan18

Poker
A card game that is played by hundreds of millions of people around the globe. It has always been popular but in the last few years with ESPN covering the World Series Poker Main Event, the amount of people playing now has skyrocketed.

So, is Poker a sport? The answer is no, a sport is defined as:
"Physical activity that is governed by a set of rules or customs and often engaged in competitively."

Drinking beer around with your buddies around a table is not a sport, although I cant deny its a lot more fun than other sports. Poker entities are trying to make Poker an Olympic sport. Now I do support it, if they consider Chess as an Olympic sport they should definitely consider Poker too.

Not many differences between Poker and Chess, what do you do while playing Chess? You sit around and move small figures from one place to another (I do know how to play Chess but I dont want to get into any details) while thinking up a strategy on how to beat your opponent. Mean while in poker you do the the exact same thing, the only difference is that you have 8 other opponents in front of you, instead of one. The strategy is still involved, the energy, the passion.

The Olympic commitee states that it cant become a sport because it needs to have a legal federation in more than X number of countries. I bet that even if it does get to that number they wont allow. Seeing as how taboo card games are, specially when bets are involved.

Either way it is their lost, they can keep all their boring sports, we stay with Poker... ALL IN..

Do you support Poker becoming an Olympic sport? Vote and leave a comment.

Twilight VERSUS Dragonball Evolution

By Jack Poe

Oii my mateys! Welcome to today’s VERSUS!..In this corner, with 383 million$ made at the box office, we have TWILIGHT!
(Crowd boos, but you can hear some girls cheering and saying “love you Edward!!” )

In this other corner, with more than 54 million$ made at the box office, we have Dragonball: Evolution!
(Everyone boos)

Ding Ding!

Similarities:
1) They’re both the shittiest movies I’ve ever seen
2) Both were badly, no, horribly directed
3) Storyline sucks
4) Really really bad special effects
5) Both male leads are gay
6) Both are an insult to fans and a disgrace for movies

For this fight, we will see which movie has the most wrong things. I will try and make the list short, even if it seems impossible.

Dragonball: Evolution is “based” on Dragonball, the AWESOME series we all saw and loved. I put “based” like that because we all know that it’s nothing like the series. I mean COME ON!!..

1) Goku is not in freaking high school!!
2) Granpa Gohan does not die like that
3) Where the F**K is Crilin?
4) Milk is a goddamn joke
5) Piccolo is supposed to be GREEN!!
6) Yamsha was a tough criminal when he meets Goku, not a sissy like in the movie
7) Bulma is not a bitchy ass girl
8) Freaking ancestors didn’t make the dragonballs, Kamisama did!
9) Master Roshi has a BEARD and is horny all the time, he’s not a freaking Chinese dude that looks like he’s 30
10) Piccolo came out of nowhere in the series, he didn’t got out of a stupid little jar
11) Shen Long looks like a worm in that movie
12) The kame hame ha is not done like you’re putting deodorant on all your body, it’s just done!
13) Who the hell is that shape-shifting girl?
14) Goku is supposed to turn into a GIANT ape!! Not a goofy-looking monkey as tall as Shaq
15) I just hope they DON’T make a sequel for this..please.

Twilight is based on the series of novels by Stephany “vampire killer” Meyer. All girls love this series because of Edward Cullen, some guys like it because their girls like it (we understand dudes, you gota do what you gota do).

1) Vampires do NOT shine in sunlight, they BURN!! And that goes for Edward “oh-look-I’m-a-diamond” Cullen
2) Bella is emotionless as a freaking wall
3) The villains in this movie are the shittiest villains ever
4) I’ve seen better effects of superseed and strength in television shows
5) The lines that Edward uses on Bella are so cheap that a 12 year old couldn’t get a girl with them
6) If vampires live for a lot of years, what are these f**kers still doing in high school?
7) Bella might be the easiest girl ever, she fell in love with Edward in a few days
8) I don’t want to get pissed by thinking in this shit, I’m stopping at 8.

This is tough for me; I don’t know which one is worst. You guys can go ahead and give your opinions on it.

Special Thanks: to James Wong (director of Dragonball Evolution) for ruining the dream and expectative of millions of fans all over the world of seeing Dragonball in a live-action film and for ruining my childhood series and millions of others’ too. THANKS A LOT A-HOLE!
To Stephanie Meyer, for ruining the Vampire, screwing up what they are, what they have always been, and making them diamond-looking f**ks for future generations to see. DRACULA WILL KICK YOUR ASS IN HELL!

Why Johnny Depp deserves an OSCAR

By Jack Poe

Oii my mates, Johnny Jack here. Now, we all love movies. We all love to go to the theatre, sit down with our popcorn and nachos, and watch 2 hours of excitement and humor. I consider myself a big, no, a HUGE movie fan, but I’m also a serious movie critic. I tend to observe every detail of them, things like direction, the acting, the script, storyline, dialogue, music, editing well, everything. All these things complement each other to make a good movie. There are tons of movies out there that are good, but don’t receive quite enough love from critics. Movies like Transformers 2 are being smashed by critics, and that’s mainly because some critics are more into drama shit than good action movies, but that’s a topic for another day.

Same as movies, there are actors and actresses in the business that have not yet received the recognition they deserve. So today, I’m gona give you an actor that has left us dazzled with every single performance: the great Johnny Depp.

Some of you know him as lonely misunderstood Edward Siccorhands, others might know him as demonic revengeful Sweeny Todd, and most of you know him as unpredictably amazing Captain Jack Sparrow. With every role he takes in the big screen, Johnny Depp has not only brought life to some of movie’s most memorable characters, but has left us a legacy like no other.

Yeah yea, I know what some of you think; you think that most of this is because of director friend Tim Burton. You see, the thing is, Burton might give Depp the roles, but it is Depp who performs them so natural that he becomes the character, bringing him to life so all of us can a enjoy a perfectly acted performance.

Whether it is comedies, dramas, musicals, adventure, fantasy, or horror films, this guy has done it all. Tell me who saw Cry-Baby and didn’t like it? Or who saw Finding Neverland and wasn’t inspired? Who saw Secret Window and didn’t believe he was a psycho? And you have to be honest; all of us went to see all Pirates of the Caribbean films because of Jack Sparrow. His eccentric characters are some we won’t forget, and on top of that, his portrayals of real life figures like director Ed Wood, detective Joe Pistone and 1920s gangster John Dillinger are amazing and have gotten him critical acclaim.

He was won several major awards including a Golden Globe for Sweeny Todd and a Screen Actors Guild award for Jack Sparrow, but the Academy is getting real tough on him despite his good performances. He has been nominated to the Oscar 3 times already: one for Pirates (of course) the other for Finding Neverland, and the last for Sweeny Todd, but he hasn’t won yet! Hmm, now that sucks.

Why is such a great actor being robbed of his well deserved price? Well, like a said, the Academy loves drama. So when Depp was nominated for Jack Sparrow he was up against Jude Law, Ben Kingsley, Bill Murray, and Sean Penn. Penn ended up taking home the Oscar for playing and angry, sad father in Mystic River. Don’t get me wrong, Sean Penn is a real good actor, but his role in Mystic River was of a desolate father, a role that we have seen TONS of times in movies. So, you tell me, who deserved the 2003 best actor Oscar, a crying angry man screaming to the top of his lungs, or an unpredictable eccentric pirate you don’t see every day?

I’m not saying Depp deserves an Oscar for every performance he has given, but he sure is deserving of one for quite some time.

This summer we saw him playing John Dillinger in Michael Mann’s “Public Enemies”, and even drama-loving critics agree that his performance as a gangster was one that no one had seen. I think this guy deserves another shot at the Oscars next year, I hope he gets nominated and wins, unless we have another actor playing a crying father or a handicapped person when Oscar Season starts later this year (those 2 roles always end up taking the awards).

If you haven’t seen the trailer for Burton’s Alice in Wonderland, you should check it out on youtube, you’ll see another character that you’re gonna end up loving next year.

Literature

by Ivan18

I had something totally different planned for today. I was going to go to the movies with some friends and watch a Honduran Movie (only two have ever been made). Then I would come back here and rate the movie. When we got to the movies, 1 hour earlier, it was sold out. We decided to crash at one of our friend's house and re-plan the night.

While at his house, I noticed a small but old library, many books ranging from medicine to math. One book in particular caught my attention:

Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler
To clear everything up I'm not a Hitler aficionado but it is really hard to turn away from greatness. Even if this greatness lead to millions of deaths. The book was published in 1925, well before WWII. Mein Kampf means My Struggle, here is an excerpt which intrigued me:

"The function of propaganda does not lie in the scientific training of the individual, but in calling the masses' attention to certain facts, processes, necessities, etc., whose significance is thus for the first time placed within their field of vision. The whole art consists in doing this so skillfully that everyone will be convinced that the fact is real, the process necessary, the necessity correct, etc."

I'll keep you posted this week if I find anything interesting in this book. Let me know if you have any books that you would like to recommend. Comments are always welcomed.

Twitter Versus Facebook

by Ivan18
Round 1:

Announcer Voice: In this corner, weighing in at more than 250 million users, FACEBOOK.
Crowd: Cheers
Announcer Voice: And in this other corner, weighing in at more than 14 million users, TWITTER.
Crowd cheers and the bell rings..

Similarities
First let's take a look at what these two giants share, they are both social networks. You can upload pictures, videos, your mood, have friends, see what they are up to, create a profile and such.

Differences:
1) Facebook: you have Friends, in twitter you have followers.
This is what I don't like about twitter, what kind of creep uses the word "follow". as in "hey, I'm now following Miley Cyrus". If that doesn't yell PEDO I don't know what does. In facebook, like in real life you have friends, it's mutual, you see what they're up to, they see what you're up to. Simple. I don't have to worry about OCHOCINCO following me.

2) Facebook: I click on profile, then upload picture, choose what album and click ok, everyone sees the pic. Meanwhile in Twitter, I have to open a second account in a website called Twitpic, wtf? Try saying that out loud "Twitpic", its one of the gayest names ever, don't be saying that in public.

3) On facebook I get plenty of space to type in my status; on twitter, I have a limited 140 characters, what am I supposed to do with that? What was the reason behind this? So that people would get creative and find ways to shorten their words? As if their spelling does not suck already. For very long links I have to go to a website called tinyurl or bitly or something. How am I supposed to know where that link from that stranger who is following me might take me? Never follow strangers, specially if they offer you candy.

4) Facebook, you're limited as to who might read your updates and thoughts. On twitter you have a magic key called #(insert subject here) and you get to discuss (fight) with anyone who is looking at that trend. Trust me, the internet has never been this fun, only drawback is that I only get 140 characters to tell someone to piss off.

5) Facebook: you're not really sure if someone famous will read your post. On twitter they get whatever you said in real time, great for stalking celebrities(loser). On twitter this is your friend --> @.

What celebrities are saying in twitter at the moment:
Miley Cyrus: "Catching up with a friend whie drinking a hot cup of coffee :) Life is good today" WTF, life wasn't good yesterday for a rich 15 year old girl? Gimme a break.
Asthon Kutcher: "Don't it always seem 2 go, U don't know what U got til it's gone, they paved paradise & put up a parking lot- Joni Mitchell" I wont say anything bad about this guy, great actor.

I really don't know many celebrities on twitter and I wont look for them right now, but you get the picture.

Facebook or Twitter. I for one prefer facebook for now. But these two giants are still growing, we'll have to see what the future has in store for us.

You get to decide on which one is better. Leave your comments and defend your favorite, I'll add your comments on Round 2.

Sports outside Soccer

by Ivan18

You might be thinking "Who the heck is that guy and how come that soccer jersey does not have any sleeves?" so before your lack of sports makes a fool of yourself I'll tell you.

Rolando Palacios
Born in Honduras, Sambo Creek(go to www.gamontoy.blogspot.com for more information about Sambo), 22 years old and specializes in the 100 mts and 200 mts sprint. Unlike our national soccer team Palacios did qualify to the 2009 Berlin World Championships. Coming in 7th against Usain Bolt who came in 1st, Bolt is currently the fastest man to ever live, some believe that he is a robot from the future but that theory is yet to be proven.

Now, my point for writing this, 1) Give recognition to the guy for putting our beloved country Honduras up there with the other countries even though his fellow Hondurans have no idea that he exists. 2) Let everyone here know that there are other sports other than soccer.

Don't get me wrong, I love soccer, but I appreciate quality too. Something that the Honduras National team lacks, the only reason we might go to the World Cup after 28 years is because Mexico is playing their worst. I will get into this some other time, for now I'd like to thank Palacios for placing us 7th in 200 mts sprint at the World Championships.

Feel free to leave your comments or talk about other sports that dont get enough coverage.

R.I.P Rock N' Roll

By Jack Poe
Oi mates, it’s Johnny Jack again. Today you’re gonna get educated in today’s music, if that’s what you wanna call it, cause I don’t. We all have different music tastes. Some of you like pop, others prefer techno, a few of you like rock, and no one likes reggaeton (yeah right). Well I love music, but my favorite type is rock, and when I say rock I mean all types of rock, cause some people think that being “rockero” is just listening to heavy metal and hard rock. I like mostly every type of rock, but the way that today’s “rock” music is coming out, I’m getting disappointed more and more every year. I gotta point this issue because, as a rock fan, I seriously think rock music is dying because every single band that’s coming out has this emo-wanna-be-poppy-sound. Yeah I said it. Before I dig in deeper into the roots of rock n roll, if you are a fan of today’s music, you might wana stop reading..no? okay, let’s play some music.

Rock n’ roll music goes way back to the 40s and 50s, it came out of styles like blues, country, and jazz. Since its beginnings, it has revolutionized the world in different ways. Bands like Jimmy Hendrix Experience, The Beatles, Elvis Presely, Johnny Cash were the fathers of a movement that would continue to change.

Each decade is different in rock music. You have the 60s with psychedelic (Pink Floyd), you have the 70s with the beginnings of hard rock and punk (Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, Sex Pistols, The Clash), the 80s with their glam (Bon Jovi, Poison, Whitesnake) and the 90s with grunge (Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden). For the 2000 decade, rock has been murdered slowly every year of it.

You guys have to admit; today’s rock is gayer than Elton John (no offense to gay people or Elton, who is a great artist by the way). All the bands are sounding the same, dressing the same, talking about the same, and even the lead singer’s voices of some are the same. Perfect example of this is Panic at the Disco and Fallout Boy. If they wouldn’t have different names, I would think “Thanks for the Memories” was from Panic, and to be clearer, I think they suck. Yeaah I said it! Now I’m gonna point out their styles, the emo-poppy shit every band has these days, so if you are a fan of that, I suggest you stop before you want to kill me for insulting your favorite band…no?, sure? Ok.

Nowadays, everyone’s wearing black and covering part of their faces with their hair, a thing that the cult would call “emo style”. With that said, I have to say something that everyone wants to say: You DON’T look cool dressing that way! Being emo doesn’t mean you have to wear tight black pants, pointy chains and bracelets, and put dark make-up on all the time.

Little bands like Metro Station are coming out thinking they’re the hottest shit in rock, and I guess they are considering everyone listens to them, but let’s be honest, they all look like My Chemical Romance wanna-be’s. But, to people that know rock and appreciate good music, we ask ourselves, WHERE IS THE MUSIC?, Where are the long guitar solos?, Where are the unique beating of drums? Where are the loud basses? Where are the different voices that lead singers are supposed to have? Like I said, it’s gone.

Not only this is happening, the worst is that bands that used to be the shit are now changing their styles in a bad way. For instance, as a Linkin Park fan, I was expecting “Minutes to Midnight” impatiently, and when it came out, I wanted to shoot myself. They need to go back to their Hybrid Theory days. Then, one of the world’s greatest bands, Korn, is losing their senses since See You On the Other Side. Even freaking Green Day is going gay with their new 21st Century Breakdown.

Thankfully, we still have bands like Metallica, Oasis, and Slipknot that are staying true to their styles and roots, but the rest are changing in bad ways. Some people would call me an old soul for this, but when older people like our parents tell us that the good music was that from their time, they are truly right. There is never gona be an Elvis Presley again, or an Eric Clapton, or a Led Zeppelin, or a Pink Floyd, or a Kurt Cobin, or a Michael Jackson. Like I said before, every decade in rock music is different, and the 2000 decade is about to end, and maybe, just MAYBE, the 2010 decade can see the dawn of a new rock generation that brings back it’s true meaning.

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